I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
