Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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