i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
My vagina just clenched in fear
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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