Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
