You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
