i was born a porn star she said
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize