my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i love accidental penises.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
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