Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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