Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
