Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She bit a glass in half.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize