I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize