I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize