Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
