literally had 100 drinks last night.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
