break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
