I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
