I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Randomize
