small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Drunk is a universal language darling
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
