i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
