I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
