I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
