I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
