That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Randomize
