You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
