why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Randomize
