My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
