No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
