when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
