I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
