I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The struggles of a small town man whore
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
