I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Randomize
