Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
