when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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