drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
splinters make it hard to masturbate
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
