Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
