I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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