??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
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