Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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