so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
