he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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