That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
