he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Randomize