Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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