My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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