Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize