He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
