My liver just broke up with me...
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
