We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
