The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
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