When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
