Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
