I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
