Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
