you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
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