I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize