I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
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