and you said cock pushups were impossible
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
