If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
