i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sex in the backyard? Check.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
