IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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