who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He did a backflip because drugs
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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