Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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