ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
