Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
